Like thanks for washing my car, but isn’t that what husbands do? But he’s trying to show me how much he loves and cares for me. But he knows I don’t have acts of service because when he does something for me, I just expect it and say thank you. My husband quickly realized he had the love language of acts of service, and he says I need all the other four. Well, let me tell you my story with your book because it's been a joke in our family since Zac and I got married. Each of us has a primary language that speaks more deeply to us than the other four. But babies feel the love of physical touch. We pick up babies, we kiss them, hold them, cuddle them long before the baby understands the meaning of it. If they’re crawling on the floor, you go on the floor and crawl. For a child, you have to go where they are to speak their language of quality time. I’m talking about looking at each other and talking to each other. That doesn’t mean sitting on the couch watching television. Number four is quality time: giving the other person your undivided attention. The gift says they were thinking about me and look what they got from me. It’s universal to give gifts as an expression of love.
#Love language quiz for kids how to#
But as a child gets older, it’s teaching the child how to do things for themselves. With children, when they’re young, everything is an act of service because they can’t do anything for themselves. In marriage, that would be washing the dishes, vacuuming floors, cooking meals, washing the car, mowing the grass, changing the diaper, or anything like that. Doing something for the other person that you know they would like for you to do. The second love language is acts of service.
It could be about the way they look, it can be something they did, it can be a personality trait that you like. And for some people it's affirming words that really communicate to them your love. We can kill each other or we can give each other life by the way we talk. There's an ancient Hebrew proverb that says life and death is in the power of the tone. So here they are: the first one is words of affirmation. So I wrote a second edition and that is the Five Love Languages of Children written to parents on how to effectively love children. So in the original book, I had one chapter on how this applies to children and people wanted more on children specifically. I worked with couples, but also with families, and I sensed the same thing was true about children. So eventually I took the time and sat down and read several years of notes I’d made in counseling, and asked myself when someone says, “I feel like my spouse doesn’t love me” what did they want? What were they complaining about? Their answers fell into five categories that I later called the Five Love Languages. I just kept hearing similar stories over and over. Why would you not feel loved?” I knew people were missing each other, even though they were trying to express love. They would sit in my office and the wife would say, “I just feel like he doesn’t love me.” Then the husband would say, “I don’t understand, because I do this and this and this. I first discovered the love languages in my counseling with couples. Let’s just start by you telling us a little bit about each language and where this came from for you, in case people aren’t familiar with this concept.
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